lessons learned
finally i have come to realized some things i need to realize (ano daw?)…
LOVE is something you must have within yourself before you love someone…
LOVE encompasses understanding, understanding and more understanding…
Love makes you go insane…
Love will go back no matter how you let go of it…
And my LOVE FOR HIM will find a way just to win him back…
unfortunately guyz (kung may nagbabasa nito which i think wala naman talaga) this would be my last blog entry at totoo na toh, napag-isip-isip ko lang tama sya, sad nga lang at ngayon ko lang sya narealize…
after my great heart-ache back in college and knowing that my ULTIMATE CRUSH got an espy-look-alike girlfriend already, i did make it a point that whoever would be the next guy i’d fall for would be the guy already i’d stay with for the rest of my life… i have set some standards for that guy, that i would only accept this guys if he has all these characters and manners… when HE came, i know that i should be careful and mindful with all my decisions… however love came in suddenly, i tried to fight back the feelings for i know he is not the one im looking for… but still my feelings for him win over my standards… naging kame,nagkahiwalay, nagkabalikan… sad thing, got separated again, this time wants, impatience, ego overcoming my love for a little while… but now, now that i know i still feel for him, i would cling to that feeling until forever…
espy now signing off…
in response to ur need
hi dear cuzin, im sorry about the news and i apologize for accessing ur acct (empathy ito) however let me just share some thoughts to ponder:
what happened?! duh? inatake ka na naman ng impulsiveness at ng iyong short attention span noh? however di na kita pagagalitan, pangangaralan na lang kita…
ganito yan, kailangan sa relationship nag-uusap, now alam mo naman pala ang ayaw nya, ginawa mo pa. in that sense papabor ako sa kanya. pro sana tinanggap naman nya ang apology mo. in that case babawiin ko ang plus point na yan.
second, vagueness…hmm, vague nga…pero sige i’ll try to… pano mo nasabing vague sya? did you ask? sabi ko diba mag-usap? ngayon, ang problema,tinatanong mo sya kung ano problema pero he keeps on denying na walang problema but still acts as if there’s still a problem, well problem nga yan (yan po ang definiton ng vague…hehehe) kahit sa text man lang ba nililinaw nyo mga buhay-buhay nyo? baka naman text na nga lang di pa kayo magtext sa isa’t isa, parang di kayo nagwowork nyan sa call center, yaman yaman nyo…
pero ganito yan, tama yang na-realize mo from your friend vida, dont be so in to it, dont expect too much from the relationship, however i believe your just trying to be idealistic na dapat ganito kayo, ganyan kayo, however gurl, the more u expect, the more lang na madidisappoint ka… now you mentioned, he is still adjusting sa relationship nyo, why dont you let him adjust, sana naman naging open minded ka for him, you know you must sacrifice for the one you love, hinayaan mo lang sana syang mag adjust till he realized wala ka na pala (hehehe joke) kidding aside, give him a little space, enough space, his own private space to think things over…
pero huling tanong gurl, love mo pa rin ba xa? (hihihi) AT affected din kaya sya sa ginawa mong ura-uradang pakikipag-break? hay naku, gaga ka talaga gurl, ayusin mo buhay mo, ang love di yan ginagawang laro, pinaglalaban yan (hahaha take that from the expert)
from ur dear cuz - *kaye*
hmm, curios sila
well, supposedly this would be my last blog entry, however i just decided not to, coz (as my line goes na favorite ng mga taga elbi) para san pa? i already dropped him like a hot potato just yesterday, well yes, were off again, and this one i believe must be the real one… why should i stop blogging? ayaw nya, kaso may magagawa pa ba sya? ( ikaw espie di ka matuto-tuto, maxado ka talagang vocal, gusto mo lahat involve sa buhay mo..sagot: well, mahirap mabuhay mag-isa, so share your thoughts and ideas so people would know and be able to understand why i act this way, practical pa to, di ko na kelangan mag kwento pa-isa-isa. hehe) however i know this would just complicate things such as what happened between the two of us.. well, of course, pinag-isipan ko naman desisyon ko, why should i stick sa relationship when im just expecting for something so vague (ano daw?) tas bibigyan ka ng rason na he’s still adjusting? f**k! shet! samantalang before… duh, pwede naman kasing sabihin ayaw nya na para mas madaling matapos ang usapan… siguro nga tama si vida, maxado akong naging "in to the relationship" that im expecting too much from him however he wasnt able to meet my expectations, that i set some rules within myself na dapat ganito-ganyan sya, kaso di nya ginagawa or nagagawa (pero lam mo vida thanks sa shared experience mo, i learned something talaga, yaan mo i’ll do that to my next relationship, naxx kelan kaya? heheheh)
hay naku i remember one of his texts months ago, na kesyo unbelievable na daw na la pa ako bf, hindi naman daw ako mukhang mahirap mahalin… ano?mahirap akong mahalin diba? well, i guess din thats just one of ur sweet nothing lines to get my attention…hmm kung saan nagpabiktima naman ako…hay naku, siguro kumukulo na nman dugo mo at hanggang ngayon damay ka pa rin sa blog ko, well ganyan talaga buhay, sorry na lang…
hay naku, im out of topic na, balik na lang ako later hehehe bye tulog muna ako..i still have 4 nights na papasok, kamousta naman, 13 nights straight shift ko …
sorry
i’m sorry, i dont intend to quarrel someone… im just.. i dont know.. paranoid? see? i dont even have the guts to discuss this directly with you.. sorry, sorry, sorry.. now i know why you seemed so quiet this past days..
STARTING OVER AGAIN
And, when I hold you in my arms I promise you
You’re gonna feel a love that’s beautiful and new
This time I’ll love you even better
Than I ever did before
And you’ll be in my heart forever more
We, we’re just too young to know
We fell in love and let it go
So easy to say the words goodbye
So hard to let the feeling die
I know how much I need you now
The time is turning back somehow
As soon as our hearts and souls unite
I know for sure we’ll get the feeling right
CHORUS
And now we’re starting over again
It’s not the easiest thing to do
I’m feeling inside again
"Cause everytime I look at you
I know we’re starting over again
This time we’ll love all the pain away
Welcome home my lover and friend
We are starting over, over again
If we nEver lived alone
Then we might have never known
All of the time we spent apart
All we did was break each other’s hearts
And when I hold you in my arms I promise you
You’re gonna feel a love that’s beautiful and new
This time I’ll love you even better
Than I ever did before
And you’ll be in my heart forevermore
REPEAT CHORUS
And now we’re starting over again
This time we’ll chase all the rain away
Welcome home my lover and friend
We are starting over, over again
We are starting over, over again
MWAH-LA LANG!
6th on the 6th
ayan, we’ll be turning six months already in PS this coming sept 6, i hope my project would be a success… kahit di ko man hinihingi, sana maapreaciate nila ang gagawin kong surprise for the batch
and at long last, ilang araw na lang din, competion na ng cheerdance… goodluck sa amin hehehe
on September 15th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
gurl,hi there!
carry lang yan…:)tsk..tsk..life oh life tlaga..hehehe..kung bakit namn kasi walang love 101 or boy-ology 101 sa college eh..di sana di tau nahihirapan ..para walng questions na should i stay or let go nalang?hehehehe…nakakaparanoid tuloy..
keep on rocking gurl!!!! :)mwah
hehe..bsta di kaw nag iisa jan..may kasama ka kapatid,kaibigan,hanggat humihinga,may pag-asa pa!!!!
on October 7th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
the real score why i should not blog: he has another gurl
just wana share the number one question na laging tinatanong sa akin:
friend: bat kayo naghiwalay?
ako: may third party eh
friend: third party?! sino yan?
ako: ako …
friend: putang ina espy, pnang-substitute ka? gago yan ah, asan yan at kakalbuhin ko!
hehe funny noh?!