Sunday, December 5, 2010

insecurity kills the cat

i know, but i'm a no-brainer so curiosity wouldn't kill me...

We had watch the last installment of The Chronicles of Narnia last Saturday, and one scene made me cry.

I don't know if i am just imagining things but of course we're husband and wife. After we went down from the jeepney I waited for him to hold my hands. Done counting silently so i made the effort.

The last full show wil be at 10:20pm and we still have an hour to waste. We went to the department store and bought myself sandals. I don't know if its not really his thing but I can't feel him. But then I just tried to ignore what i'm thinking.

Then there goes the movie. I can relate myself to LUCY - wanting to become someone else, being jealous (?). Aslan appeared and left these words to Lucy:

"You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are."

Tears came falling from eyes without him knowing. Then I just realized that somehow after "the event" that had happened in our lives i've been trying to find out who that girl is. Maybe somehow i could imitate her and maybe somehow it could make him fall in love with me again.

So much with that...

Another thing happened that made me insecure (damn this feeling!). Although I was already advised who the _______ are but stil when I saw them I felt bad especially when I realized that some of them are younger than me. Siguro nga I dont deserve to be one of them. I dont belong, kumbaga.

hayyy,  a lot of things to fix inside me....

Ciao!