insecurity kills the cat

i know, but i'm a no-brainer so curiosity wouldn't kill me...

We had watch the last installment of The Chronicles of Narnia last Saturday, and one scene made me cry.

I don't know if i am just imagining things but of course we're husband and wife. After we went down from the jeepney I waited for him to hold my hands. Done counting silently so i made the effort.

The last full show wil be at 10:20pm and we still have an hour to waste. We went to the department store and bought myself sandals. I don't know if its not really his thing but I can't feel him. But then I just tried to ignore what i'm thinking.

Then there goes the movie. I can relate myself to LUCY - wanting to become someone else, being jealous (?). Aslan appeared and left these words to Lucy:

"You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are."

Tears came falling from eyes without him knowing. Then I just realized that somehow after "the event" that had happened in our lives i've been trying to find out who that girl is. Maybe somehow i could imitate her and maybe somehow it could make him fall in love with me again.

So much with that...

Another thing happened that made me insecure (damn this feeling!). Although I was already advised who the _______ are but stil when I saw them I felt bad especially when I realized that some of them are younger than me. Siguro nga I dont deserve to be one of them. I dont belong, kumbaga.

hayyy,  a lot of things to fix inside me....

Ciao!

done watching HP7 this morning =)

ang tamang daan

walang nararating, literally and figuratively.

nangarap maging newscaster. nag aral ng communication. nagtatrabaho bilang call center agent.

paikot-ikot sa rotonda. u-turn. zigzag. kelan ba matatahak ang isang matuwid na daan?

walang tinama. lahat palpak. bumabangon ngunit muling mababaon.

siguro nga hanggang dito na lamang.

short trip to the north

Last weekend (August 14-15) we went to Ilocos Norte to attend the wake of my father-in-law’s cousin, Uncle Jimmy.
We left the house at around 12:30AM and reached Badoc at around 11:40AM.

Kaizer's uncle was once a municipal mayor (2 term) and a board member. Pero tuwa pa rin ako dito:

After an hour or so we already went to kaizer’s place/barangay.
Rest for a little while.
Then we visited the house of a famous persona in our Philippine history.

Can you believe it? JUAN LUNA’s house is just 2 blocks away from the Padernal’s compound! Kewl diba?!
Konting rest ulit. Then nag short trip naman kami sa Batac to have a taste of their empanada and isaw sa Batac riverside. Wala akong personal pics kase naiwan ko sa van. kaya i-google na lang:

Batac is also the hometown of MADAM Richess Martal and President Ferdinand Marcos. On the way tinetext ko si madam baka sakaling nagbabakasyon siya hehe.
Pag kauwi idlip muna. Pagka-dinner pumunta ulit kami sa bahay nina Uncle Jimmy.
THE NEXT DAY, SUNDAY.
We went back to Batac with the kids to visit the late Ferdinand Marcos.
Sayang, no camera is allowed sa loob ng puntod ni Marcos. Hmmm si marcos nga talaga kaya yun? O waxed lang?

After that we went to Robinson’s Laoag para ibili ng toys ang mga kids. At syempre dahil kids ang mga kasama, sa Jollibee kami kumain, habang si LK gumagawa ng milagro hahaha kaya pala ayaw maupo hehehe.
Pauwi bumili na kami ng pasalubong na bagnet, chicacorn at tupig sa Batac’s market.

Mga lunch time na rin kami ulit nakabalik sa bahay. Mga alas dos pa-south naman ang trip namin. This time we went to VIGAN. We went specifically to BALUARTE, zoo owned by Governor Chavit Singson.
Hindi na kami gumawa ng stopover pero ang cool ng mga fastfood chain dun like Jollibee, Mcdo and i think Chowking ata yung isa. Old style talaga ang building design nila.

9PM umuwi na kami. 620AM asa bahay na kami.

first day high

first working day for the month of august.

new shift. opener. not too excited as my break sched sucks.

it's 4:45am (mla time), just had my lunch break. my lunch break should be 4:30am pero hindi ko na kaya. may baon na akong 2 sandwiches which i ate during my first break (10:45pm) and second break (1:15am) pero ginugutom na ako. kumukulo na tyan ko. at nagsisimula na ring mag fade ang boses ko (with matching ehem-ehem na).

kung dangan kase ang galing galing ng scheduler namin. SLA kung SLA. sabagay, isa lang naman syang utusan. sumusunod sa kanyang mga amo. well, hindi ko naman sinasabi na magaling ako pero kase dapat ginagamit ang utak eh. puro pera-pera-pera. isipin nyo naman mga tauhan nyo.

pero sige ok lang. quits lang. buti may nakikipag swap sa break sched ko. kaya lang wala pang say kung approve na.

its complicated

2 things: marriage and work.

WORK:
i had this thought last friday: setting a goal is bad for your health.

i know i sound so negative. but that is what i am feeling.

ang hirap kapag malapit ka na sa finish line pero ang layo sa katotohanan ng nagaganap sa gusto mong mangyari. ang sakit diba? kaya mula ngayon, gagawin ko na lang kung anong kaya kong gawin.

MARRIAGE:
i'm married at the wrong time, for (i can't say wrong) some reason.

lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na nangyari na ang lahat. hindi na maaring mabura ang nakaraan at ang mga pangyayari. pagsisisihan ko pa ba naman si lance?

kaya lang minsan talaga ang hirap. may mga oras na tinatanong ko ang sarili ko kung kailangan ko ba talagang gawin ang mga bagay dahil kasal kami o dapat gawin ko lang kase gusto ko.

hay life, its complicated indeed!

cant read my, cant read my, no you cant read my poker face

too many distractions

walang "personal"-an pero...

"all accumulated pers0nal breaks will be deducted from employees' salary to avoid overpersonal and abusing aux usage"

tama ba to?

kaso la ako mahanap sa labor code eh, lunch lang meron which states:
ARTICLE 85. Meal periods. – Subject to such regulations as the Secretary of Labor may prescribe, it shall be the duty of every employer to give his employees not less than sixty (60) minutes time-off for their regular meals.

eto naman sa short periods:
ARTICLE 84. Hours worked - Rest periods of short duration during working hours shall be counted as hours worked.

currently immobile (immobile talaga?!) coma po cp ko ngayon (hindi pa nga bayad eh). nasira kahapon ni LK The Destroyer. hayyy mamimiss ko ang mobile facebook, ang aking pampa antok.

naiirita ako sa multiply ha

my 26th birthday blog

i've been on a roller coaster ride again the past few weeks...

and if i could only jump on that roller coaster...

sorry if i'm being morbid.

anywhoo, i reviewed my blogposts for june 2009.

just so sad to find out that i wasnt able to hold on to my promise:

that is to become more aggressive and fearless.

and it seemed so opposite on what i have decided to do with my life from this day onwards.

from my last year's birthday blog, i sound so positive and contented with my life.

but now? i dont know. maybe because i'm getting jealous?

to whom? i dont know either. maybe jealous of what other people are capable of doing with their lives?

yeah, i know. you'd say, live life to the fullest, life is so short for you to waste it. 

well i'd say, coz you have the money to live your lives to the fullest.

i know, you dont want to continue reading this crap. go. i dont care. i'm over it.

i'll just think that this is the life designed for me. and i wont have the life that im dreaming of. in this way i wont get jealous.

my only wish is that you pray for me. i'll try my best to work out on my attitude with my life.

for the meantime i will be wearing a mask. and i hope in time this mask would fade and reveal a new me, an understanding me, the one who would be capable of accepting the realities of life.

status quo

me: thank you for calling customer service, my name is lucy. how may i help you?

caller: i would like to know how to cancel my policy?

me: oh im sorry but let me go ahead and assist you. may i have your policy number please.

caller: sure. 01n1xxxxxx

me: thank you. let me pull that up for you. to verify i have 01n1xxxxxx

me: (what?! getting mixed emotion of kilig and nervousness) for verification purposes may i have your name please?

caller: EDWARD CULLEN

me; (OMG!) thank you very much for that edward... for further verification, may i also have the last four digits of your social?

EDWARD: xxxx

me: thank you. (getting away from the usual "how are you doing today" rapport line) hmmm your name sounds interesting...

EDWARD: i know... i had it first (laughing)

me: (maarteng laugh. at dahil sa kinikilig na ewan di ako makapagconstruct ng sasabihin. gusto ko sanang sabihin, sana siningil nya ng rights si stephenai meyer hehehe ang sinabi ko na lang ay: ) yeah, however edward you've mentioned you'd like to find out how to cancel your policy right?

EDWARD: yes

me: oh, for that edward, i would actually need to transfer you to another department for proper assistance. would there be anything else i can assist you for today?

EDWARD: no that's all

me: ok, thank you very much for calling, have a great day!

----
ANG KULIT NOH? TOTOO YAN

nagulat naman ako

isang araw sa wall post ko:

ei espie...nakakatawa lang...kwento ko lang sayo...
nung sunday lang...pabalik kami ng family galing sa pansol...tas sa may highway na...nakita ko si paul sa loob ng bus....galing los banos na bus...funny lang na dun ko pa siya makita....

---from kim =)

in 15 years or so...

last saturday we attended a birthday party. unfortunately LK is not around to enjoy Jollibee.

late that night kami namang mga oldies ang lumabas. we went to Blue River (in retiro, qc).

i wont be going to the details anymore. here's a realization i made:

those who became pregnant at an early age or got pregnant out of wedlock will be more strict with their child/ren (especially if its a girl) thus i presume in 15 years or so early pregnancies will no longer be an issue. 

in ang shoutout, out ang blogging =(

avail time =)

im done reading "Breaking Dawn" (actually all the twilight books, partida, within the shift ko yan binabasa, siguro mga 2 months ko rin siya tyinaga hehe)

simula ng nauso ang shoutout, status, at twitter, tinamad na akong magblog

issue alerts

wala nga akong issue alerts na natanggap for the month of january, punong puo naman ako ng issues sa buhay, kamusta naman?

hayy, on the lighter side, just last night i passed the recertification of being a rep that can take producer calls (line specific for life insurance agents calling for the policy they've written). hindi ko alam kung magiging masaya ako or hindi eh. una, queing kaya. pano pa ako magbabasa ng ECLIPSE by stephanie meyer? pangalawa, ang tatamad mag-survey, mag survey man, mga wala pang utang na loob, ibabagsak ka pa, hay naku, hello csat at csat utilization. kanina lang i ended my day with 69 point something csat, hay nakers. pangatlo, parati silang nagmamadali, nadadala ako, feeling ko hindi ko mabibigay lahat ng info na needed at dahil jan baka di mag improve QA ko. PERO, sige iisipin ko na lang, isa siyang PRIDE bilang isang customer service rep. think positive ika nga.

yun nga, yung QA ko. kamusta naman. san ba ako nagkamali? o masyado lang OC-OC ang QA namin? 69? mygad, kala ko magiging record ko na yun 78, hindi pa pala.

sana lang maregular ako sa lagay kong toh hehe

blogging while accepting requests in facebook

overwhelmed on my first day being a producer-split agent... pwede bang naka prio2 lang muna ako?

having a sup-call...

i.e. customers asking for a supervisor or manager, for whatever reason/s you'll read that later

When I was still a newbie in the call center industry (wow, tenured na daw kase ako) getting a sup call is understandable. Apparently as I've matured (naks) it's becoming an insult, and shows how incompetent I am. Well that's just for me.  

But what are the reasons as to why they are looking for a sup? 

ONE. They're looking for a supervisor at the onset of the call. It could be that they were not satisfied with the previous rep they spoke with. Or the line got disconnected while the previous rep is looking for a supervisor for them. Or the previous rep intentionally hangs up. (LOL!) 

TWO. The client and the representative got an argument. Probably because the caller is insisting that s/he is right to the best of his/her knowledge and doesn't want to be corrected, or rather s/he doesn’t like to accept the explanation being given, or as simple as they don’t like to listen. 

And THIRD. (Scenario that I don’t like to happen. This is the scenario that would show I am an unskilled representative). This time, the error is with the rep. S/he could not understand what the customer needs, and ends up having the customer looking for a supervisor.

uploading pix and video