my 26th birthday blog

i've been on a roller coaster ride again the past few weeks...

and if i could only jump on that roller coaster...

sorry if i'm being morbid.

anywhoo, i reviewed my blogposts for june 2009.

just so sad to find out that i wasnt able to hold on to my promise:

that is to become more aggressive and fearless.

and it seemed so opposite on what i have decided to do with my life from this day onwards.

from my last year's birthday blog, i sound so positive and contented with my life.

but now? i dont know. maybe because i'm getting jealous?

to whom? i dont know either. maybe jealous of what other people are capable of doing with their lives?

yeah, i know. you'd say, live life to the fullest, life is so short for you to waste it. 

well i'd say, coz you have the money to live your lives to the fullest.

i know, you dont want to continue reading this crap. go. i dont care. i'm over it.

i'll just think that this is the life designed for me. and i wont have the life that im dreaming of. in this way i wont get jealous.

my only wish is that you pray for me. i'll try my best to work out on my attitude with my life.

for the meantime i will be wearing a mask. and i hope in time this mask would fade and reveal a new me, an understanding me, the one who would be capable of accepting the realities of life.