hi multiply! =)

insecurity kills the cat

i know, but i'm a no-brainer so curiosity wouldn't kill me...

We had watch the last installment of The Chronicles of Narnia last Saturday, and one scene made me cry.

I don't know if i am just imagining things but of course we're husband and wife. After we went down from the jeepney I waited for him to hold my hands. Done counting silently so i made the effort.

The last full show wil be at 10:20pm and we still have an hour to waste. We went to the department store and bought myself sandals. I don't know if its not really his thing but I can't feel him. But then I just tried to ignore what i'm thinking.

Then there goes the movie. I can relate myself to LUCY - wanting to become someone else, being jealous (?). Aslan appeared and left these words to Lucy:

"You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are."

Tears came falling from eyes without him knowing. Then I just realized that somehow after "the event" that had happened in our lives i've been trying to find out who that girl is. Maybe somehow i could imitate her and maybe somehow it could make him fall in love with me again.

So much with that...

Another thing happened that made me insecure (damn this feeling!). Although I was already advised who the _______ are but stil when I saw them I felt bad especially when I realized that some of them are younger than me. Siguro nga I dont deserve to be one of them. I dont belong, kumbaga.

hayyy,  a lot of things to fix inside me....

Ciao!

done watching HP7 this morning =)

ang tamang daan

walang nararating, literally and figuratively.

nangarap maging newscaster. nag aral ng communication. nagtatrabaho bilang call center agent.

paikot-ikot sa rotonda. u-turn. zigzag. kelan ba matatahak ang isang matuwid na daan?

walang tinama. lahat palpak. bumabangon ngunit muling mababaon.

siguro nga hanggang dito na lamang.

short trip to the north

Last weekend (August 14-15) we went to Ilocos Norte to attend the wake of my father-in-law’s cousin, Uncle Jimmy.
We left the house at around 12:30AM and reached Badoc at around 11:40AM.

Kaizer's uncle was once a municipal mayor (2 term) and a board member. Pero tuwa pa rin ako dito:

After an hour or so we already went to kaizer’s place/barangay.
Rest for a little while.
Then we visited the house of a famous persona in our Philippine history.

Can you believe it? JUAN LUNA’s house is just 2 blocks away from the Padernal’s compound! Kewl diba?!
Konting rest ulit. Then nag short trip naman kami sa Batac to have a taste of their empanada and isaw sa Batac riverside. Wala akong personal pics kase naiwan ko sa van. kaya i-google na lang:

Batac is also the hometown of MADAM Richess Martal and President Ferdinand Marcos. On the way tinetext ko si madam baka sakaling nagbabakasyon siya hehe.
Pag kauwi idlip muna. Pagka-dinner pumunta ulit kami sa bahay nina Uncle Jimmy.
THE NEXT DAY, SUNDAY.
We went back to Batac with the kids to visit the late Ferdinand Marcos.
Sayang, no camera is allowed sa loob ng puntod ni Marcos. Hmmm si marcos nga talaga kaya yun? O waxed lang?

After that we went to Robinson’s Laoag para ibili ng toys ang mga kids. At syempre dahil kids ang mga kasama, sa Jollibee kami kumain, habang si LK gumagawa ng milagro hahaha kaya pala ayaw maupo hehehe.
Pauwi bumili na kami ng pasalubong na bagnet, chicacorn at tupig sa Batac’s market.

Mga lunch time na rin kami ulit nakabalik sa bahay. Mga alas dos pa-south naman ang trip namin. This time we went to VIGAN. We went specifically to BALUARTE, zoo owned by Governor Chavit Singson.
Hindi na kami gumawa ng stopover pero ang cool ng mga fastfood chain dun like Jollibee, Mcdo and i think Chowking ata yung isa. Old style talaga ang building design nila.

9PM umuwi na kami. 620AM asa bahay na kami.

first day high

first working day for the month of august.

new shift. opener. not too excited as my break sched sucks.

it's 4:45am (mla time), just had my lunch break. my lunch break should be 4:30am pero hindi ko na kaya. may baon na akong 2 sandwiches which i ate during my first break (10:45pm) and second break (1:15am) pero ginugutom na ako. kumukulo na tyan ko. at nagsisimula na ring mag fade ang boses ko (with matching ehem-ehem na).

kung dangan kase ang galing galing ng scheduler namin. SLA kung SLA. sabagay, isa lang naman syang utusan. sumusunod sa kanyang mga amo. well, hindi ko naman sinasabi na magaling ako pero kase dapat ginagamit ang utak eh. puro pera-pera-pera. isipin nyo naman mga tauhan nyo.

pero sige ok lang. quits lang. buti may nakikipag swap sa break sched ko. kaya lang wala pang say kung approve na.

its complicated

2 things: marriage and work.

WORK:
i had this thought last friday: setting a goal is bad for your health.

i know i sound so negative. but that is what i am feeling.

ang hirap kapag malapit ka na sa finish line pero ang layo sa katotohanan ng nagaganap sa gusto mong mangyari. ang sakit diba? kaya mula ngayon, gagawin ko na lang kung anong kaya kong gawin.

MARRIAGE:
i'm married at the wrong time, for (i can't say wrong) some reason.

lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na nangyari na ang lahat. hindi na maaring mabura ang nakaraan at ang mga pangyayari. pagsisisihan ko pa ba naman si lance?

kaya lang minsan talaga ang hirap. may mga oras na tinatanong ko ang sarili ko kung kailangan ko ba talagang gawin ang mga bagay dahil kasal kami o dapat gawin ko lang kase gusto ko.

hay life, its complicated indeed!