i've been on a roller coaster ride again the past few weeks...
and if i could only jump on that roller coaster...
sorry if i'm being morbid.
anywhoo, i reviewed my blogposts for june 2009.
just so sad to find out that i wasnt able to hold on to my promise:
that is to become more aggressive and fearless.
and it seemed so opposite on what i have decided to do with my life from this day onwards.
from my last year's birthday blog, i sound so positive and contented with my life.
but now? i dont know. maybe because i'm getting jealous?
to whom? i dont know either. maybe jealous of what other people are capable of doing with their lives?
yeah, i know. you'd say, live life to the fullest, life is so short for you to waste it.
well i'd say, coz you have the money to live your lives to the fullest.
i know, you dont want to continue reading this crap. go. i dont care. i'm over it.
i'll just think that this is the life designed for me. and i wont have the life that im dreaming of. in this way i wont get jealous.
my only wish is that you pray for me. i'll try my best to work out on my attitude with my life.
for the meantime i will be wearing a mask. and i hope in time this mask would fade and reveal a new me, an understanding me, the one who would be capable of accepting the realities of life.
